Bonding With Your Baby

During the first few months of life, your child is totally dependent on you. And the best part is that all you have to do is give your baby love (and also clean diapers and milk!) to make them feel safe and secure and to make them feel attached to you. And you're bound to become attached to him, too, partly because of your hormones and your maternal instincts. The bond between a child and his parents is natural, but there are things you can do to make it even stronger.


Bonding with your baby right after birth

As a result of dozens of studies in different countries, scientists have concluded that it is crucial for the baby and mother to have contact in the first hours after delivery. In the experiment, some children were placed on their mother's stomach immediately after birth, while others were carried away for traditional postnatal manipulations.


In the first group, the babies behaved in the same way: lying on the stomach of the woman in labor, they opened their eyes, moved their hands, touching the mother and his mouth, looking for the breast, sticking out their tongue and trying to apply to her, finally began to actively suck when in the process of their search to get to the goal.


The reaction of moms to this behavior was a sharp increase in oxytocin levels (attachment and pleasure hormone). The researchers concluded that newborns use the motor skills available to them to stimulate the production of oxytocin in the mother and, consequently, to make the first contact. Since oxytocin is responsible for the emotional state, after childbirth it allows the woman to relax and give milk, which begins to be produced under the influence of another hormone - prolactin, released when the baby sucks the breast. Oxytocin also causes uterine contractions and reduces postpartum bleeding, which speeds up the onset of recovery.


More than half of the babies from the other group did not show search behavior after returning to the mother, could not apply to the chest and started sucking for a long time.


How can you strengthen the bond between you and your baby?

Every day, you and your child get to know each other a little better. You discover the little noises he makes, you recognize his crying and you get to know his rhythm. By observing and listening to your child, you will know more and more about what he likes and needs. And if you react correctly and quickly to his needs and desires, your bond will only grow stronger. Wonder what that means? It means that:


  • Respond to your child if he or she seeks contact with you. For example, by looking or talking to them.
  • You also try to get in touch with your child yourself. For example, by talking softly to him when he wakes up or by singing a song to him when he is on your lap.
  • Feed your child when you see that he is hungry.
  • Comfort your child when he or she is upset, for example, by giving a hug.
  • Touch your child with tenderness, for example by giving him a massage.
  • Play with your child.
  • Make your child understand that you understand what your child wants.
  • Give them the comfort of a lovingly made diaper. When your baby will be in comfort it will be a lot easier to bond with him.


Skin-to-skin contact

Your baby loves being near you. So it's important that he hears your voice and can feel (touch and smell) you. This will give him confidence. Skin-to-skin is a pure moment of happiness for your child: the warmth of your skin and your heartbeat will have a fabulous calming and soothing effect on him. After feeding your baby, don't hesitate to keep him/her close to you for a few moments. If you are breastfeeding, let him/her rest on your bare breast. So that your baby's head can rest on your skin. For carrying, choose a sling. This will allow your hands to be free while your child is snuggled up against you.


Give Your Baby a Massage

Babies love massages, and parents love giving them. A gentle massage or a lullaby and a few loving words will also help your little one fall asleep. Our tip: massage gently and use massage oil. Your baby will then be completely relaxed!

When you massage your baby, let your instincts take over. After all, there is no specific technique. The best time for a massage? Just before bedtime or after the bath. The ideal time to soothe your baby. Use Love kins all-natural baby massage oil which will help you bond with your child better. Your baby's soft and delicate skin will love this natural care, free from harmful artificial chemicals.


Mom and the baby dialogue

It's been noticed that Mom behaves differently with the baby than with other people.


When caring for the baby mum has a special manner of speaking: speech becomes slow, with pauses, with simple words and short sentences, her rhythmic changes, the height of the voice increases, there is "melodiousness".


A kind of communication is established between mother and baby, which at first is a permanent monologue of mother: she asks questions, pauses and answers on behalf of the child.

This unusual format of communication is of great importance for the child's mental development. Already in a month or two in one of these pauses, the baby will respond. Mom will pick up his response and continue communication, encouraging the baby to respond. The child, receiving a positive experience of communication, will continue to respond to the invitation of the most important interlocutor in his life to talk. In time, the mother's monologue will move into a harmonious dialogue with the baby.


Sometimes it takes longer to make the bonding

Don't you feel a connection with your child right away after birth? That's absolutely okay. Sometimes it takes a little longer. Above all, don't feel guilty. It only means that you need time to get to know your child. Sometimes, there are other reasons why it can be difficult to create a bond:


  • Your body is still subject to all sorts of hormonal changes. So give it some time.
  • You've had a difficult delivery, and you need time to get over it.
  • Your baby has been placed in an incubator. It may be harder for you to bond with your baby, because you can't hold him or her against you as often as you'd like.
  • Your baby cries a lot.
  • You have a lot on your mind (illness, money, etc.).
  • You may need more time to get used to your new role as a mom.


Talk about it with people around you that you feel comfortable with. Your partner, family, friends, your pediatrician, or others. Also, make sure you get enough rest. The more relaxed you are, the easier it will be to bond with your child.